Since this is my year to bloom, I’ve decided every week or so (give or take… I’m not boxing myself in) I’m going to do one of those things “they” say you need to do in order to be a happy, healthy, self-actualized adult. Over this past week, I’ve decided to be really conscientious about drinking the prescribed amount of water.
Why drink water? Well, I researched and the most convincing arguments seemed to be
- It helps you maintain the right balance of body fluids. Not only does water help carry all the nutrients to their proper homes, it also helps cleanse toxins from your body.
- It can help you lose weight. Yes, please.
- It helps give you energy. Supposedly, the afternoon slump is actually mild dehydration.
- It makes your skin soft and supple. This was a big sell since I have to wash my hands eleventy billion times a day.
- It helps you poop. ‘Nuff said.
Armed with this knowledge, I went to the Google Play Store and downloaded a handy little app called Water Your Body. I chose this for several features—it took into account your height and weight and gave you the “right” amount of water to drink rather than the blanket “8 8-ounce glasses a day” suggestion; it allowed you to track both your water consumption and weight, and it even had a handy little reminder. Oh, and it was free. I was set.
I had such good intentions.
82.3 ounces of water a day. That’s how much it wanted me to drink. That’s a lot of water. I mean, a lot a lot a lot of water. Soooo much water. Still, I feel like I can do it. I started my day with the following rules:
I would begin each day with hot water, lemon, and maple syrup. Television told me once this was good for me, so I will do it. Plus it’s a fairly easy way to knock out the first 8 ounces.
Nothing but water until I consumed the entire 82.3 ounces. The only exception for this was bulletproof-ish coffee that I have each morning (coffee, butter, coconut oil, and stevia all frothed up in my Ninja.)
Instead of taking iced tea or Starbucks in with me to school, I would take water.
Sassy water (water infused with all kinds of magical stuff) was fine.
I started on a Monday and I drank. And I drank. And I drank. And I drank. I had just come off a bout of the tummy flu that went both north and south, so I actually felt pretty good by the end of this day, like I had finally replenished what the virus had stolen from me.
So. Much. Water.
So much time in the staff bathroom.
I apologized to my team. “I’m sorry. I’m trying to drink lots of water to help recover from this flu.” They nodded and seemed to understand. After all, many of them had fallen to the bug as well.
So. Much. Water.
Found out my six ounce glasses were actually eight ounce glasses. My coffee mugs that I assumed were four ounces were actually six. Everything I had thought to be true was WRONG. For all I knew, I was getting enough water all along. The world is upside down.
The constant water sound of the “Water Your Body” app is making me have to pee even more. I didn’t even know that was possible. On this Friday Eve, I said screw it and drank some (caffeinated) iced tea to get me through the last leg of my day. I didn’t even sweeten it. I just needed the caffeine. That’s been the most difficult part, I think. I rely heavily on caffeine—coffee and iced tea sweetened with stevia, specifically—to get me through my days.
By the time 6 PM rolled around, I had only drank about 35 ounces of water. This put a serious crimp in my evening plans. I chugged another 50 ounces in rapid succession, one after another, so I could move on to rum and coke. This meant I spent the better part between two and four am in the bathroom peeing.
Vodka is clear, like water. I decided it counts.
I gave up. I had a cocktail at brunch and then drank iced tea for the rest of the day.
I don’t know. By the end of the week, I felt bloated, crabby, under-caffeinated, and had gained two pounds. I also was sick and tired of having to explain why there was various fruits, veggies, and spices in my water bottle. My skin was still dry, my poo was largely unchanged, and any boost in energy I felt I am pretty sure came from having to run to the bathroom multiple times. On the other hand, I didn’t exactly embrace the challenge. 82.3 ounces of water is a ridiculous amount of fluid. And after it was all over, I found this article on why NOT to drink tons of water each day. I might be predisposed to believe this blog because it champions butter, but the post did mirror my own experience.
Grown Up Grade: B- for bloated. I’m sure drinking iced black tea all the time isn’t as good as water, but I sweeten with stevia if at all, so I don’t feel like I was doing my body great harm to begin with.
What grown up challenge should I try next?