I am a type-A, firstborn control freak with mild OCD that has been diagnosed by several certified professionals. Mostly it’s not a big deal, although it does mean that I get visibly agitated if we can’t go through Target in what my daughter calls my “special order” and I really REALLY like to make lists.

But every now and again my perfectionism and OCD gets in the way of my doing what I really want to do. I feel so paralyzed by the need to find the perfect system that I never actually get started doing what needs to be done. I just get bogged down by the details.

Some people watch Hoarders and think “How does someone get to that point?” I watch it and really sympathize with the hoarders. I can understand letting the junk pile up while you’re waiting for the perfect system to organize it all to come to you in a light bulb moment. I can understand the urge to keep grabbing stuff until your collection is complete. I  can understand drowning in a sea of treasures that slowly becomes unusable because you don’t want to begin until you can find the very best way to honor it all.

So last night around bedtime, it occurred to me that I didn’t have a plan for Lent. Now stay with me here, this really is connected to the above. I was thinking “What do I want to accomplish? What do I want to give up? What do I want to take on?”

And in the quiet, Ms. OCD yelled out in my head

I just want to be perfect.

Sigh.

That’s what the OCD is all about in its heart. I just want to be perfect. I want to balance everything, do it all right, have it all together. Just like the pregnant ladies in one of my favorite musicals Baby, I want it all.

But, I can’t be perfect, right?

And then a Bible verse comes to me.

Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

But it strikes me that there must be more than this, so I grab my Bible and look up what comes before this verse. It’s the Sermon on the Mount, where Jesus first shared the Beatitudes and then called his followers to be salt and light. He speaks about fulfilling the law and then goes on to expand it. And then he says a lot of really hard things about forgiveness and love.

So I ask myself, how exactly is my Heavenly Father perfect? He’s not perfect in listmaking or housekeeping or lesson planning. He’s not seeking to be the best cook or the cleverest blogger or the funniest Facebook poster.

He is perfect in love.

And so, this is both my goal and my theme for Lent, to sow seeds of love. To love those around me– ALL those around, both my friends and family as well as my perceived enemies– as perfectly as Jesus loves them. To be salt and light. To go beyond the letter of the law.

To forgive.

To love.

What are your plans for Lent?