Sometimes I feel as if I am straddling two worlds.
One world whispers to me that I have to have “me time.” I need to get away from my children, my husband, my home and take time to do something that is solely for myself. This world tells me that in order to be whole, I have to grab these moments for me.
The other world says no, this isn’t so. My world is my children, my husband, my home, and to steal time away from them for myself is selfish. This world tells me that in order to be whole, I should accept my vocation and not long for more than I have been given.
It becomes a game, like holding my breath under water. How long can I go without breaking away? Because truly, I am an introvert. I can’t recharge in chaos. Rather, I need regular doses of being alone in order to make this crazy life of mine work. Attachment parenting six children 24 hours a day, 7 days a week doesn’t come easy for me. In fact, there is no way I can do it without little breaks here and there to fill my tank back up.
Is that selfish? Maybe. But at the end of the day I have to believe that the One who wired me this way knows and understands me. If it is a weakness, I have to believe that it is a weakness that, in the end, makes me a stronger and better mother.
Is it a myth? I have to wonder if maybe all these women who rail against “me time” are simply created differently and do not require time alone. As for me, I remember that even Christ Jesus had a need to get away from the crowd and wander off alone. And so I steal my moments here and there, wandering not off into the Wilderness and temptation, but into the arms of my Father. I pray a little and recharge a lot, and come back to my family refreshed and ready to begin again.
I am willing to accept that not everyone needs “me time.”
But I think now I am also willing to accept that I do.
Great post! For me though, I don’t think there are shoulda..if I need a break, I schedule something for myself and my sweet husband is happy to have a “guys night” or “guys adventure” on a Saturday afternoon with our two boys. In fact, now that our boys are getting older, they often plan fishing, skiing, camping outings and leave me behind for the day! I usually use some of the time to recharge and exercise and some of the time to plan our upcoming home ed year.
It wasn’t always this way though. When we had our first child, years went by where I felt like I never had a break, unless some event was planned, and really, that wasn’t even a break, it was a social obligation. I was so exhausted back then! Sometimes a mama needs a rest instead of a night out or an event. I learned the hard way and when we had our second child we had a great system in place, which involved me sleeping in. It was great, and I didn’t need any more than that.
So, if you’re an exhausted mama, get some rest! It is a really need, not a want. You need to get your rest! Forget about the outings, the hobbies, and just get the rest you need. Everything becomes easier after that, in my opinion.
Your attitude sounds wonderful, and very balanced. I will admit that I get mired down in the shoulds.